by Rick Psinakis
Holiday blues, sadly, as common as the red and green or silver and gold. I dont think I would be out of line saying that at least some of us find this time of year filled with jingle bells and lights, bags and bows, songs of white Christmas' and warm fireplaces, less than merry. This time of year seems to bring to bare thoughts and worries of financial troubles, loneliness, memories of loved ones lost and the effort to just survive the season.
Holiday blues, sadly, as common as the red and green or silver and gold. I dont think I would be out of line saying that at least some of us find this time of year filled with jingle bells and lights, bags and bows, songs of white Christmas' and warm fireplaces, less than merry. This time of year seems to bring to bare thoughts and worries of financial troubles, loneliness, memories of loved ones lost and the effort to just survive the season.
Today, my blue pity party went from sadness to guilt. Guilt of how I could allow one area of my life that God is still working on bringing to fruition to distract me in this most amazing season and away from the countless, unmeasurable blessings in my life.
I never look at someone elses car and think how much better it is than my beat-up old Civic, or the bigger house, or nicer clothes; I do not envy, because I know that there are people on bus benches that see that Civic go by and wish they could afford such a nice car, or long to live in a real house and have maybe have just one new shirt instead of a hand-me-down.
I am not quite there yet when it comes to realizing that others may also be looking at my problems, perhaps with their own envy, and wishes theirs were so small. On good days, I can tell God that I am thankful for what troubles and weighs on my heart, that I know He has my back, and a good and great plan for my life. Its harder around the holidays. Hard, but not impossible.
Today though, I learned that for some, for one, it surely seemed impossible. Today's email brought the heart breaking news of an old high school friend's death. Not just her passing away, but the end of her hopelessness, the end of a pain and sadness that to her was so inconsolable, that the only way she could she find peace was to end her life.
I can not imagine how she came to a place in her life that jumping in front of train seemed the right thing to do. We didn't really keep in touch , we were not even "friends" on Facebook, and I don't know what the years since high school were like for her; but I know what they have been like for me. I know that tonight, after I pray for my friend, I will pray that He would forgive me for allowing, for what now I cant even remember, to take one minute away from me praising God for all that He has and continues to give to me, so many blessings, so graciously and undeserved.
I can not imagine how she came to a place in her life that jumping in front of train seemed the right thing to do. We didn't really keep in touch , we were not even "friends" on Facebook, and I don't know what the years since high school were like for her; but I know what they have been like for me. I know that tonight, after I pray for my friend, I will pray that He would forgive me for allowing, for what now I cant even remember, to take one minute away from me praising God for all that He has and continues to give to me, so many blessings, so graciously and undeserved.
If I may, I ask you to pray for Barbara, that she may find the peace she so was desperately seeking, and for her family who are now seeking the same. Most importantly, as we pray, let us find our way to be grateful for all that has been given us, most especially the glory of God's ultimate gift of His Son, and find our peace before the train comes.
May we all be strong, and be blessed in this New Year.
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